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SPIRITUAL COUNSELLING
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Some questions answered...
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What is spiritual
counselling and how does it relate to psychotherapy? |
I don't see any point in distinguishing
between the two. While some
people would claim that psychotherapy is 'more grounded in the day-to-day
reality' than spiritual counselling I suspect that this is more a reflection
of their need for grounding or fear of being ungrounded. Conversely, some
people would claim that spiritual counselling is in some way 'more profound'
than psychotherapy, and again, I'd suggest that this was more a reflection
of their need for profundity or fear of superficiality or something else.
Why bother with a distinction? The approaches overlap and each has
something beneficial to offer.
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So what is
spiritual counselling? |
Let's begin with a definition of counselling, psychotherapy
and then spiritual counselling.... |
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Counselling |
... is the use of well developed interpersonal skills to help an
individual (generally) to reach a different and (generally) more useful
appreciation of issues that are affecting them at the time.
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Psychotherapy |
... is where the therapist, following appropriate training,
experience, supervision and within effective guidelines, affects (at a
deeper level) the thinking and feeling processes of a client, with the
result that patterns of thinking and feeling that evolved as a way of coping
in the past, but are no longer effective, are replaced with new ones that
are more beneficial.
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Spiritual Counselling |
... involves the use of interpersonal skills, like those of counselling,
to help an individual (generally) to explore their own responses to
physical, emotional and spiritual issues that are affecting them, and to
redefine those responses that are no longer helpful to them by reference to
their higher self.
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How does spiritual
counselling differ from spiritual direction? |
The two are similar and some spiritual directors are more
like counsellors and vice versa. Generally, the director is
working towards an explicit path and helping the individual who has
already chosen that path. They may be less concerned with resolving issues
of the past and more with preparation for the future. A spiritual counsellor
will be helping the individual choose their personal path and work along it.
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So what equips
someone to offer Spiritual Counselling? |
Counselling skills can be taught. The mindset to be
effective as a counsellor can also be adopted; for example, an unconditional
positive regard for the client.
The therapist learns more skills and 'models' of development
and then explores these in relation to themselves to enable them to make
effective interventions for their clients without unconsciously influencing
their work through their own 'baggage'.
The spiritual counsellor also uses counselling skills, but
instead of drawing on any particular models (though some do - eg Myers
Briggs and Enneagram), they endeavour to provide a means by which the client
can get in touch with their higher self and draw on it in resolving issues.
In order to do this, they need to accept and draw on their own higher
self. They have prepared themselves to draw on this wisdom when they need
to. They have begun the process of unwrapping any acquired 'baggage' of
their own that may influence their interpretation of their own inner wisdom
and that of their client. They probably frequently engage in practices that
maintain their state of readiness and personal growth.
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And what kinds of
things will a spiritual counsellor deal with in their sessions? |
They will start where their client is and help them move
forward.
They may begin by simply verbalising the concept of a higher
self and so validate to a sceptical or otherwise doubting mind that it is OK
to think and talk in these terms.
If the client does not acknowledge the presence of a higher
self, the counsellor may explore with them why this is, working with any
issues from the past that affect their acceptance of it. This may include
examining the strategies that the client has developed as alternatives,
enabling the client to see their limitations and progressively to drop them.
If a client has some acceptance of the higher self, but
finds it difficult to draw on it, the spiritual counsellor may encourage
them to develop appropriate personal spiritual practices and to take the
first tentative steps in recognising when the higher self is speaking to
them. They will often do this by modelling alternative approaches in a
dialogue with the client.
Where a client has a specific issue, and an acceptance of
the higher self, but finds it difficult to draw on it to resolve their
concerns, the counsellor may help them explore their resistance, their
practices and the ways in which they have drawn on their intuition in the
past.
What you discuss is up to you. This can include
difficulties, anxiety, problems achieving, loss of a sense of purpose,
career direction and
many other issues. You are encouraged to explore various aspects of your
life and feelings, talking freely and openly in a way that is rarely
possible with friends and family, to a person who neither judges nor offers
advice.
Bottled up feelings like anger, anxiety, grief or embarrassment can
become very intense. Talking about them in a secure place helps dissolve
them, reduces the pain they cause, and makes them easier to understand.
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What protection is
needed for clients and how is it provided? |
The relationship between a client and their
spiritual counsellor is similar to that between any other type of counsellor
and their client. The client can expect their counsellor to be;
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clear about their own beliefs, opinions and theoretical background so
that they do not allow them to inappropriately influence their client
and/or so that the client can make an informed decision as to whether to
choose to work with the counsellor in the first place.
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appropriately trained and to be updating their training on an ongoing
basis.
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committed to ongoing personal supervision.
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bound to a professional code of ethics - through which the client can
formally complain if they feel the counsellor has not acted
appropriately). [In my case, I work to both the BACP Code of Practice
and the New Seminary Code of Practice. A copy of the latter can be
found by clicking here:
<ETHICS>.]
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insured for the professional indemnity costs (both for the
effectiveness of their work and for physical injury while a client is
visiting them).
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Spiritual counselling is confidential. The counsellor
won't discuss you or your concerns with anyone without permission.
There are two exceptions to this. Very occasionally a counsellor feels
that a client's GP should be aware of the issues confronting them. Secondly,
in supervision the counsellor reviews their cases with a specially trained
and very experienced supervisor who is bound by similar codes of practice.
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What is the first
session like?
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Your first contact will probably be by phone. You may get an
answering service as they are frequently used to avoid interruption during
sessions. Do not be put off - the counsellor will phone you if you leave
your name and number. We are very flexible and appointments can usually be
made to suit the client.
Counselling can't solve all problems and sometimes it isn't
the best form of help. So the first time that you see the counsellor they
will discuss what help you feel you need and whether they feel they can
offer this.
You will meet in private, without distractions. At the end, and if you both decide that counselling may help,
you will be offered regular appointments usually every week for a
number of weeks.
Many clients find that a consistent time and place each week
helps them get the best value from sessions. [This doesn't suit everyone and
so I have found that longer sessions - of around 2½
hrs every three or four weeks may be more convenient for some clients.] The counsellor will expect you
to meet this unless something particularly unusual arises and generally will
charge if you give less than 48hrs notice of a cancellation.
At this stage you set up a contract between you and the
counsellor so it's important to be clear about what you want and what the
counsellor offers. If you have questions do ask - counsellors understand how
confusing things are at first.
Finally the counsellor may ask for the details of your GP just in case
they are needed later.
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How do I know I've
chosen well? |
You are the final judge of whether a counsellor is right for
you - trust your instincts. Talk to the counsellor first and ask yourself if
you would feel comfortable telling this person intimate details of your
life. Do you feel safe with them? Do you like their manner towards you and
could you be completely open with them?
Counselling is a working relationship. You may not get on with someone
that even your best friend finds suitable, so don't be afraid to discuss
this with the counsellor and ask for alternatives if you're uncomfortable.
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How long will it
take? |
This depends on you, the counsellor, and the
kind of changes that you would like to experience in your life. Major shifts
may need longer (an hour a week for several months); while short
term counselling for a specific issue may take only a few weekly sessions. In a few cases one visit may be all that is necessary.
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